Older Brother
by Theblackbook
Summary: One shot. Dylan had always been envious, of how easily Norman seemed to shake these things off. He was just like their mother in that way. Simply pretending the beating never happened. That Sam hadn't threated to kill them.


**Older Brother**

_By: TheBlackBook_

It was like they were two people. The bratty, weak, gentle and kind, little brother… and the murderous one.

Dylan had always wanted to get to know his brother better, ever since they were little. But their mother… even when he was just a child, he was told not to bother him, not to play with him so rough, not to disturb him.

The younger brother with the doe eyes and messy brown tuft of hair.

Dylan was the loud one, the daring one, the one with the outburst and the one who never got the time of day.

He was jealous. Had been for a long time.

Until he saw how much it had hurt his brother, having all that attention. All that caring and discipline and hovering of their crazed mother, every single day for years and years.

He wasn't jealous anymore.

And now… a part of him regretted having finally gotten to know his little brother.

He was still doe eyed, still a messy haired kid with a gentle voice and a too soft hearth. Yet, he was also not.

He was also a monster.

-x-

It was partly his fault anyway.

If he had just stayed home, taken care of Norman, instead of leaving him there, in that house.

Sam was always mad, always pissed about something. And when he drank, that anger would eventually lead to him acting out. Mostly at the first person he saw.

Often that was Norma.

Several times, it was Dylan.

A few times, little Norman.

Dylan had been envious, of how easily Norman seemed to shake these things off. He was just like their mother in that way. Simply pretending the beating never happened. That Sam hadn't threated to kill them. Hadn't made them scared shitless. Hadn't, for a second, very nearly gone through with it.

The next day, they would be up. Making breakfast, cleaning up the broken glass and pretending the fist-sized hole in the wall wasn't there.

But Dylan couldn't unseen it. He couldn't smile and eat his cereal calmly, like it didn't really matter.

So, he would rather not be there, the next time Sam lost his shit.

He didn't think back then, that Norman wasn't handling it nearly as well as he made it out to be.

That he shouldn't have left.

That Dylan should have taken his little brother with him.

But he didn't.

-x-

All the years of running. Getting into fights. Mixing with the wrong crows. Trying out anything that might give him that same feeling of being noticed. The feeling of completion.

What he was missing.

All it ever did was make him lost. He would always end up back home, eventually. Though Norma hardly made it easy for him.

The snide comments. The sighs of expiration. The disappointment in her eyes.

The love she so easily gave to Norman.

A part of him hated his younger brother. Despised him for getting all that affection.

But it wasn't baseless. Norman didn't take it for granted. He adored his mother right back. In fact, it made him sick to his stomach, watching them.

The devotion. The warmth. The ease in which they talked.

They were more like lovers, than parent and child.

Dylan did not want that. Not for himself.

And not for his little brother.

-x-

She had ruined him.

Was what he thought.

Dylan should never have left. Somebody should have done something.

This wasn't healthy. Couldn't be.

This was sick.

-x-

He wasn't dangerous, not to her.

Their mother used to say something like that. Before she died.

How Norman managed to make that right in his head, killing her, his own, loved and dear mother. Dylan would never understand.

Perhaps a small part of Norman hated her. Just like Dylan had.

Perhaps they were more alike than he had believed.

Perhaps he wasn't completely lost after all.

-x-

Dylan just wanted his brother to be happy. He wanted him to be well. And more than anything, he wanted their mother to be alive again.

However, he knew very well that that wasn't possible.

Norma was dead. Norman would never get well. Yet, he could still make him happy.

So, Dylan would make sure he was.

After all, he was Norman's older brother.


End file.
